Ellie’s Story
Ellie dedicated her whole life to nursing and worked as a hospice nurse for many years.
Ellie and I met in 2005. We were both traveling nurses assigned to a hospital in Honolulu, Hawaii. Ellie was from the UK and I was coming to Hawaii from Florida. After two years, I moved to Alaska and she stayed and got married to her husband, Gordon. They were together for 20 years. Ellie died on March 11th, 2025 at the age of 62, in Kaneohe, Hawaii.
Ellie dedicated her whole life to nursing and worked as a hospice nurse for many years. She felt very comfortable talking with patients about death and dying. The last two years of her life she started a non-profit for Lymphedema Care in Hawaii.
In October of 2024, Ellie was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer that had metastasized to both lungs. As a previously healthy marathoner, the diagnosis completely shocked her. She was given a prognosis of two months to live.
Because of her background in hospice nursing, she knew she qualified for Medical Aid in Dying, “MAID”, and was grateful that she lived in a state where MAiD was an authorized option for the terminally ill. She was very sure she wanted MAiD and immediately contacted the program. Three physicians came and evaluated Ellie and her husband. They presented the program to them and described the process. She said the medical team did not leave until they were sure all her questions had been answered. They approved her and came back to the house to give Ellie and Gordon detailed instructions on mixing the drugs for when the time came. The medical team was available 24 hours per day, if they had any questions.
Ellie’s 90 year old mother and sister came from the UK and stayed with her for two months. With all three of them being nurses, they very much respected her wishes for MAID. Ellie’s mother talked her into having palliative chemotherapy, as she knew how dedicated Ellie was to her newly established Lymphedema Care non profit and wanted her to have time to find someone to take her place. Ellie was taken off hospice until after two months of palliative care, and was then placed back on hospice care and again eligible for Medical Aid In Dying.
Ellie called me and asked if I would come to help Gordon until she died. I was honored and proud she had asked me. Ellie amazed everyone, living much longer than expected and doing quite well until the 2nd week of March.
As the cancer progressed, Ellie made sure her husband and I felt comfortable with mixing the required drugs for MAID. She was totally sure of her decision and it made her feel more in control of her disease process. Ellie worked on her non-profit until two days before her death. On March 8th, Ellie knew she was nearing death and decided that she would take the medications the next day. However, when she woke up that morning, she had gotten much worse and was unable to keep anything down. We knew her window for taking the drugs had closed. Even though she was unable to take the drugs in the end, Ellie had felt good throughout her terminal illness about having the option of MAID. On March 11th, Ellie died with her family arriving to be by her side in her last two days of life.
Hospice and the MAiD team did not stop there. They made sure Ellie's husband and her family were supported emotionally and spiritually. Pastoral services were by the family's side the next day. They also provided plenty of resources for Gordon and grief groups he could join.
Ellie was such an incredible person and always cared about quality of life for all of her patients. She was always an advocate for MAID, understanding what a comfort it can be to a terminally ill person to just know it is available if needed.
-Rachel Stewart